Fake TV and Real Food

Reality Television

They call it reality television - Survivor, The Apprentice, Big Brother, The Amazing Race... and the one that started the whole craze, The Real World. Let it be known right here and now that by and large, I absolutely HATE reality TV. Although I've viewed an entire season of Survivor, The Apprentice and The Amazing Race, I no longer participate. For the most part, if it isn't on the History Channel or if it isn't a Rams or Cardinals game, I'm not interested. Here's why: let's say these people live together in a large group. Whether it's a mansion or a desert island, there must be a TON of drama. That being said, I feel like such a chump when I "get into" an episode, or even worse, actually DISCUSS the program with another person. That is because things are happening 24/7 on these shows, yet we're shown 42 minutes of heavily edited propaganda and we eat it up. Yes, I'll admit I really did enjoy Survivor and The Amazing Race, but The Apprentice was simply ridiculous. If I ever had to work with people like I saw on the Apprentice, I would most likely have more than one indictment on assault charges. Never have I seen such infantile, hackneyed attempts at work. These people were lazy, stupid and completely void of character. I would kick their ass and THEN fire them.


Real Food!

Not long ago, I posted some easy recipes that really come in under the wire in terms of time and effort. Fritos, Cheese and Tomato Soup is perhaps my favorite; and Taco Salad is also fantastic - especially in the summertime. Today, I want to share another easy-ass family recipe that I loved from the time I was hatched. Here it is!

Spinach Balls

1 - Pound ground beef
1 - Can spinach
2 - Cans buttermilk biscuits

Brown ground beef and drain. Drain canned spinach and stir into beef. Flatten biscuits (as you go) until a small spoonful of the beef/spinach mixture will fit in the middle of the flattened biscuit. Wrap biscuit and press edges together to make a "ball". Place on cookie sheet and bake until biscuit appears done. (Remember, the meat is already cooked and spinach doesn't have to be, so don't over-bake)

After these come out of the oven and cool, you'll be able to eat your body weight in these things.

I'm not sure what I'll write about next, but I'm sure it will be boring and meaningless. After all - I do have an image to uphold.

Until then...

Is It Hot Enough For Ya?

Dang Ol' Dog Days, Man!

Why is it so hot? Well, because it's summertime, mostly. Snow in South Africa, 100 degrees here. Although it's the first time in nine years it has snowed in South Africa, this time of year the temperature always reaches triple digits here in Missouri. Many people offer up many reasons for the heat, but to me the most logical explanation is global warming. So let's see what we can do to correct the problem and all buy a Hummer. Now that's a happy ending.


Light Sweet Crude

It sounds like the perfect date, but that's actually what keeps us mobile and on the highways. Last night I was watching Neal Cavuto on one of those cable news channels and saw a very interesting segment discussing immense oil reserves here in America. If tapped and tended, one million barrels of light, sweet crude oil could be produced on a daily basis. One expert's opinion was an end result of $40 per barrel - half the current price. Of course the timetable they slapped on this ambitious project was 20 years. Shit, by then we'll all either be dead or driving cars that are powered by Mr. Fusion, like on Back To The Future. Any way you slice it, I'm sure it'll be too little, too late.

Have you watched any reality TV lately? Of course you have - it's impossible to avoid it. Some thoughts on that coming next time.

Until then...

I'm Baaaaaaack!

The Family Vacation

Ok, so it’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything. Here’s why: my job only allows me to take my vacation time during the “down time” of June and July. So, with two full weeks of vacation, plus 6 comp days (we only took 3), I barely even worked during the month of July. Needless to say, that’s fine with me.

During this time, I took my family to my parents’ house in Monett, MO. That’s where I grew up and went to high school. It’s not bad going home – although a recent glut of immigrants from south of the border (Mexico, not Arkansas) has caused the Hispanic population of this small town to burgeon beyond belief. So much so, that a new pseudonym has been conceived – Monexico. A bit harsh, but entirely true. This is a small railroad town of yore that will soon be no more. I seriously give it ten years until all the families that have resided in that immediate area for generations bug out. Sad, but I suppose that’s the cycle of life.

There have been many things that have happened in the past month and a half or so that I want to discuss. The problem is, I make “mental notes” of these things, then lose those notes. Maybe I need one of those little flip-up notebooks like the cops carry on Law & Order.

The Wife and Old Friends

My wife and I spent a lot of time with an old friend of mine. He and I have been friends since the 5th or 6th grade and have stayed in touch over the past 21 years since graduating high school. While in high school, he was a great athlete. He won several events at the state track meet over the course of three years. He still holds the high hurdle and high jump records at Monett High School. The hurdle record he broke in 1983 had stood since 1922. We spent some time with him and a few other friends and had a great time. He also fixed our home computer – except now it doesn’t work.

Also on our trip, we visited an old favorite of mine; a nice little piece of serenity called Jolly Mill. This is an old mill located roughly halfway between Monett and Pierce City. The last time I was there must have been about 15 or more years ago. Then, it was an old, run down wooden mill with a cool rock dam. Now, it is an old, not-so-run-down wooden mill with a cool rock dam. We caught some crawdads and minnows and the kids loved it.

Speaking of the kids… mine are 7 and 3 years old. It seems as they get older, they fight more and more. Lots of taunting. In fact, the other day my 3-year-old son told his sister that he was going to “kick her butt”. Upon asking where he had heard that, his sister informed us that Spongebob Squarepants was the culprit. More specifically, Flats Flounder in school. “I like to kick people’s butts”, he says. I guess it’s perfectly normal for kids to fight, but it wears my ass out. Now I know how my parents must have felt.

I’ll tell you more about what’s been going on lately and how much I spent on gasoline. We drove nearly 1300 miles in the past week in our new minivan (2001 Mercury Villager) and believe me, that ain’t cheap.

Until then…